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Why Do We Feel The Need To Bring Each Other Down?
By Kristine Roberson

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March 20, 2001

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We women have a peculiar habit that, in general, is pretty exclusive to the estrogen-powered gender. We look at other women we perceive to be different than us (or, perhaps the same as us?) and knock them down as much as we can. Mothers, unfortunately, are no different.

Why do we bring each other down?  Women supporting women, estrogen"She should really be at home, raising her children!"

"Such a shame. She had so much talent and intelligence. Now she's wasting it at home being a housewife."

"Well, you know, she's a single mom. She thinks she can go out every weekend and leave her kids with whomever."

"What's she complaining about? Mothers who have involved husbands have it all!"

"Those poor kids! Who knows what they are catching -- and the horrible habits they're learning -- in daycare!"

"Of course Little Johnny doesn't know how to get along with others. He was never in daycare, and never socialized properly to fit in with other kids!"

How we got here I'll never know. Is it a deeply-buried instinct women have to fight for their men to continue the human race (an estrogen-influenced survival of the fittest)? Or are we all just nasty by nature?

One thing I know for sure. None of the comments are truth, and none of the comments are productive. We are wasting are valuable energy bringing each other down, when instead, we should be propping each other up. Because another truth that I absolutely believe is we all have the same goal -- to raise our children as best we can with the circumstances we have.

Working mothers are an especially fun target these days. They are constantly told they are doing the wrong thing by placing their kids in daycare and working. Their kids need them, they're told. Well, duh! Of course their children need them! Don't yours? Instead, why not offer to help that working mother you have been shunning by helping her work out a plan to reduce her hours at work, or offer to take her children one day a week, or make her family a dinner one night a week so she has more time with her children. Put your efforts where your mouth is and you might be greeted with more productive results.

And what about housewives? They have it bad, too. Maybe they were in the workforce until they had children, and now they stay at home, out of choice and out of necessity. Stay-at-home moms are often looked down upon as "the little housewife" who does nothing all day and who is wasting her college education away. Why not help her get out of the house and spend time on herself? One day playing housewife will surely open your eyes to just how hard she works. Or, have a good long talk with her about her passions in life. Maybe deep down, she's anxious to turn a hobby into a work-at-home career.

Which brings me to the work-at-home moms with those "hobbies." Why not enlist the talents of a work-at-home mom for your next project, or gift for your mom, etc. You will be humbly impressed with her talents and "hobby" and she will be helped with yet another customer reference! Don't know any work-at-home moms? Meet some at the MamaShop and lend a little support their way!

And what about the single moms? These ladies, in my not-so-humble opinion, must have the toughest life of all of us. I don't know how they do it. I am in awe of all the single moms out there raising decent, respectable kids on their own. We all need to get out there and help every single mom we can get our hands on! Cook some freezer dinners! Run some errands! Babysit! Clean her house! Refer a cute single guy looking for an instant family to her! Whatever it takes, just do it! Today!

When you step back and really look at other moms, you will see that we all share a bond that is extremely powerful. We moms dry tears in a single hug, mend "owies" and broken hearts and are educating future generations by our every act. Don't send them the wrong message of intolerance. Teach them that all mommies' children are important. And so are all the mommies.

About the Author: Kristine Roberson considers herself a work-at-home mom, working mom, stay-at-home mom and single mom during football and baseball seasons. She is "Mama" at

Copyright 2000-01, Kristine Roberson

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